Updated: Jul 14, 2020
Sadness is a beautiful emotion. It is rich with honesty and humanity. We meet up with it when we can no longer hide from what exists below the surface of consciousness. Since I was a little girl I've carried an abstract sadness with me. I spent a lot of time at my Baka's house (grandmother), and sometimes wonder if I absorbed the melancholy that surrounded her. It permeated the melodies of the folk music she would have playing while she cooked or cleaned and was weaved throughout the stories she told me about being forced to leave her family, her home and her homeland and how much she still grieved. Even in childhood I had a difficult time reconciling how antiquated religious practices can strip women of their identity upon marriage. Yet there was an unexpected beauty in my Baka (And Dedo's) difficult journey. Out of that frightening chaos a new branch of our family tree formed - one that stretched across oceans. I am grateful for the sadness because it is a reflection of the depth of emotional experience I was shown, taught and encouraged to embrace. I respect this sadness because it is part of my story and my ancestry. It reminds me that one cannot have joy without sadness. My life is full of rainbows.