A year ago today I was one week away from the first day of recording From the Outskirts. Today that endeavour is now available to the world (or at least those with an internet connection). Never did I think things would work out so swimmingly.

I really hope that you all enjoy this album. Thank you for your endless support

xo

Step Two: record them

Step Three: relinquish them

Step Four: ummmmmm????

For months now I have been pretending that I have it all together – that I know exactly what I am doing. Truth is – I have no idea what to do next. When I first thought about sharing my panic, I figured “Do not even THINK about letting on that you are feeling lost.”  So I heeded my ego and have since been avoiding posting because I have nothing to say except “What the F am I supposed to do now?”

Then I realized, I am really not alone in this.

There are thousands upon thousands of musicians everywhere who are feeling exactly the same way I am feeling. And that this confusion has nothing to do with the merit of our music. The problem is… in an industry whose currency is “Who You Know’s” – the only option that remains is pounding the pavement. I need to be more VISIBLE.

In this day and age, you need to be visible in so many place at once it makes the head spin even thinking about it. Conquering a stage is simply not enough anymore. An online presence is just as essential. In fact, I know of people who rarely play live, yet they have managed to build a very loyal online following. Balancing both is the perfect tonic, I think.

Every musician who is releasing a record absolutely needs a PB Sandwich:

P=Publicist (takes care of making you “visible” online, in print and on screen)

B=Booking Agent (takes care of making you “visible” on stage)

Problem is… they are INCREDIBLY hard to come by. Therefore, we the unsigned artists must wear not only the performer and songwriter hats, but the PB hats as well.

This is why the overwhelmed independent musician surfaces.

But despite the panic and night terrors (just kidding), there is nothing else I would rather be struggling with. On with the dance!

“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration”

~ Thomas Edison

DECEMBER 2009, I remember sitting at My Dog Joe between sets when all of a sudden – this popular tune popped into my head completely out of nowhere. No idea what the name of it was, I sang it to the people I was sitting with (I think) who could not recognize my a cappella/lyrically bare version of it. I thought it would be a great cover though and made a note to myself to look it up when I got home. As the night went on however, I forgot all about that moment.

APRIL 2010, rushing around getting stuff together before going into work. I run upstairs to pick up something from my blue piano room. As I pass the piano I get this overwhelming desire to sit down and play. I knew before my butt hit the bench that a song was about to be born. It was as though it had come to the surface at that very moment. So I sat down immediately, played a few chords to get the right key and then:

There it was.

Harmony and melody of course (lyrics NEVER come that easily to me). Three minutes or so later, that sensation of surfacing had subsided. I left for work, with my belly and my ears full of a new song. The next day I sat down and a bridge to this new little tune presented itself just as suddenly. Several times after I had played the song through, I realized how familiar one part of the melody was to me but I could not recall why. As I am driving to work, it hits me in a rush – that piece of melody – I had heard it five months earlier in a little cafe called My Dog Joe…

I have no idea why the tune came into my mind in the first place. Perhaps I had heard it on the radio waiting to pay for gas, or in a doctors office or at the grocery store. All I know is that some part of my brain – a part beyond my comprehension – seemed to have spent five months composing around that fragment of song I had absorbed.

The musical brain – an extraordinary machine.

The great Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore proclaims to his students with wet eyes: “Ah music…a magic beyond all we do here.”

k.

Meeting the Foreign Films:

These people (Bill, Marie, Amber and Jon) are truly wonderful human beings. So many musicians I come across are jaded and tired – but these young veterans are not part of that school. Their music (and passion for it) is just as refreshing as their personalities. The same goes for Mr. Dave Hind. Meeting people like this and sharing a stage with them warmed me… and somehow, because of them, this world I find myself in feels friendlier and much less daunting.

Judith and Ron of the Artbar:

Their vision and passion for uniting artists of all mediums in Hamilton is so inspiring. Speaking with them after the show for awhile, I had the opportunity to learn why they have dedicated their lives to the arts. It all seemed surreal to me, as I am still in the very early stages of trying to survive as a creative professional. That they pay their bills with money earned by nourishing their art (and many many others art) seemed so extraordinary, so interesting, so much a fairy tale to me. I think, as we were leaving, Ron picked up on this sort of wide-eyed-wonder some of us were experiencing after hearing their story. To this he simply said – what we do here is ordinary. In that moment something dissolved in my mind…

The Pursuit of Happiness:

Perception is an incredibly powerful thing… and malleable. Our perception has been toyed with since we could feel, hear and see. I like to think of myself as a more open-minded person but I realized then how much a life like Ron and Judith’s seems like a dream (or a gamble). From a young age, our perception is constantly a target for skepticism, “realism” … capitalism, in short. And the damage is done in such a sly way. We are all sponges after all; growing up to be an Artist is like winning the lottery, right people?!  For the vast majority of us – making a living creating “art” has been made to seem unsustainable and impractical.  How sad is it, that something that can move a person to tears is not a necessity of life? When those tears can help one come to terms with something that has been blocking a little bit of their happiness. Tears, laughter, outrage – these extreme emotions are natural and healing. Feeling them and reflecting on them on a regular basis is a necessity to true happiness. I think that I can speak for most, and say that a life of happiness is what we are taught to aspire to. So if money is advertised to bring that about – then why the hell is art (in any and every form) not just as important – not just as necessary??

Thank you to those who came out to listen to all of us! And a Super Thank you to everyone who bought one of my albums! It was the first show that I sold it at! Yet another circumstance that triggered the the cogs of change!

Thanks for reading my spiel

Please check out her site and her blog: http://www.elizabethkaye.ca/

me and my lulu

(thanks beth…)

1. Get the final masters… On January 22nd I had tea and talk with the one and only Paul Intson, who did such an incredible job mastering. Paul also laid down three awesome bass parts on the album. This meeting was so great, I am now a huge fan.

2. Album artwork… this one has been really, really time consuming. Since I have a bit of Photoshop knowledge, I have been messing around with the artwork on my own. I realize that many people these days do not value the album as a tactile experience. Of course there are always upsides and though digital downloading has killed CD sales, the amount of waste it has saved the earth is something I cannot say that I am ungrateful for. But I cannot deny the fact that something is missing when I purchase things on iTunes. I miss the artwork, I miss reading the lyrics in the companion booklet, I miss reading the credits – Who produced the album? Where was it recorded? Who played on it? Who wrote the songs? Pictures, posters, drawings… all these things are lost to me in the digital world. I know, I know, this information is only a click away but it is just not good enough on a computer screen! So I am taking my album art seriously because I want to make sure that you die hards like me do not miss anything.

3. Promo shots…yuck. If there is anything I hate more than the smell of broccoli it is having my picture taken. I feel so unnatural in front of cameras. Know what I mean? When the lens is on me I just do not feel like being myself is good enough, or interesting enough for that matter. However, this time around I cannot believe I can say…I had fun! A year ago I met a young photographer named Elizabeth Kaye and she was such a lovely person I never forgot her. When I was speaking to my photo-friend Jamie Rosenthal about taking some new shots, he mentioned that I should give Elizabeth a call. So I did. Elizabeth came over to my house a few weeks ago and we pretty much just hung out and took pictures. She even taught me how to hold my mouth! See I never knew what to do with it! – should I smile, or should I be serious? UGH! So complicated. Models are not given enough credit, people. They know their bodies so well and have such control over each limb and facial expression I believe what they do is truly an art and a skill. Anyhow. Elizabeth made me feel much more comfortable in a lens than I ever have before and the shots that she came up with are just awesome. She is a very gifted photographer and an even kinder person. I cannot wait to see where her career leads her. As soon as I can I will post some of the shots. www.elizabethkaye.ca

4. Research, and more research, and more research… management companies, record labels, venues, festivals, distribution, e-zines, new music blogs, pod casts, booking agents, grant applications for touring and music videos, etc, etc, etc… the list really does go on and on. I have to be careful to make time for writing new songs and practicing! For all you independent musicians out there making a living with your talent, I give you serious props.

5. Boot Camp…When we finished recording, Dave could see that I was a little scared about what was to come next. You see, I really do love performing, but I find it emotionally exhausting. The recording process felt so much more natural – secluded. So, Dave said to me “You need to go to boot camp.” Since I am going to be spending the better part of the next two years on a stage, he figured I should have my chops together – not just musically, but emotionally. This is one of the reasons I found a weekly gig at a little coffeehouse in Westdale called My Dog Joe. Since December 1st I have been playing every Tuesday (minus one) and each week I am learning more and more about what it is to be a solo performer. It is a very different beast than being a recording artist, that’s for sure. Whether it is a hand full or a hall full of people, the most important thing is to make a connection. And I am finding that in order to do this I have to make that connection with myself first.

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” (Mark Twain)

I think I made up for the lost journal entries with this one! If you are still awake, thanks for reading.

‘Till next time.

My feelings towards this are mixed up. Although I am beyond excited to finish the record so I can share it with people, I do not want it to end. I LOVED the recording process. It was a lot of hard work but by far the most rewarding musical experience of my life to date. I am sure that it is due to the fact that I have been surrounded by people who are not only technically gifted at what they do but full of adventure as well. At no point in its creation was this record subjected to the Easy-Way-Out (except for the darn tambourine – the never failing vibe booster!). What I mean is that myself, Dave and Roman have worked really hard to give each song its own landscape. Every sound recorded or mixed is particular to that song. When you finally hear the album I hope you can hear (and enjoy) this.

Now, the next step: Mastering.

Until then.

k

Here is a photograph of Artist Extraordinaire DAVE HIND. He was the first “outsider” to hear one of the mixes…

and I am pleased to report that he was all smiles.

So, the final two weeks of recording are up. We accomplished so much my head was spinning a little. We  added more colour to Billie and Crack My Eyes (a bit of  organ, some back-up girls and a even a little Sesame Street). My sinus’ were still so blocked (make that week four since my flu) so recording the remaining lead vocals were impossible. Dave finally encouraged me to see his osteopath  - maybe she could help… and help she did. Two days later  there was a noticeable difference and four days later I was in  the clear. An unbelievable woman. Her name is Carole De Silva Piques and she is opening her own practice in Grimsby this  winter. I will post her link when her site is ready.

Last weekend we also got the first mixes back from Roman. The first mix I heard was Astrocops… and I cried. No joke. It is beautiful. I swear, the mix is a sonic painting. Like Dave, Roman is magical. Aside from a few minor changes -Northern Belle, Nowhere Near My Heart and Beach Ballad are ready for the mastering stage. This is a significant feat I am told. It is my first time on the mixing battlefield, and apparently this can be a lengthy and exhausting process. Dave is a huge fan of Roman’s work, but even he seemed surprised (and relieved) at how thoughtful and crafted the mixes were.

lucky

lucky

lucky

lucky

lucky

thankful

girl

The last time we worked on Shooken Up, was Day Four! To be perfectly honest with you, I was scared to re-visit it. I did not mention it in the journal entry, but I was really freaked out after that session. The sounds he was encouraging me to consider were foreign. This is why we moved on to Astrocops, a friendlier song. It is all so hilarious to me now, because if I thought those sounds were scary -the ones we created to replace them are insane in comparison. Dave and I were wondering what my reaction would have been if we had gone in this new direction originally. I like to think that I would be cool.

Dave thinks I would have made a run for it.

When I walked into the Barn on Monday (with my new, clear  sinus’) the room felt electric. Dave was sitting at the  computer as usual, but at the back of the studio – there was  a stage!! Incase some of you reading have not come across it on  this site yet, Dave has been planning a concert series that  will be recorded and filmed in the Barn. I was floored that  he asked me to be one of the performers for it’s pilot series  (which takes place this Sunday November 15th). Over the  weekend Dave and a one of the Sandman friends built it.  Dave set up, on the stage, a mic and a lamp. With dimmed  lights and unblocked sinus’ (thanks Carole!) and after many previous attempts, I finally got the Queen vocal – a labour of love. One down, two to go. Tuesday was a gift. We got right down to business. Dave set up the mic on the stage again and I sang Gray (seven times in a row!). We got some great takes and decided we had the final vocal in there somewhere. Next up, Shooken Up. I knew what I had to do to get the right vocal. So I sat on the floor in the tiny mudroom with my back against the wall, asked Dave to set the mic up so close to my face that I had no room to move around, and finally – turn off all the lights (I even made him put a towel along the door to suffocate me with darkness). Take One -cooking. Take Two… my favourite vocal of the album. I was waiting for Dave to help me out of my corner, when he peaked his head in the mudroom and said I wasn’t going anywhere – “Sing Gray.” I said “Really?” and two seconds later the track was in my headphones – then I finally heard what Dave was hearing all along. Take One. Take Two – time to celebrate.

The final seven songs are in Romans hands as I write. From the Outskirts is still at least a month and a half away from completion. But now that the mics are having a well deserved vacation, I feel so strange. A little scared, a little sad and really curious…

…was fabulous. On Tuesday I was kind of freaking out a little because Beach Ballad was not feeling right. It was pretty, but just not right for the record. Wonder Full was falling a little short for me to. And Nowhere Near My Heart was SO close…but still not what it could be. Something was just not working in each of these tunes. I sang for the first time since my sickbed weeks started and I am still stuffed up (I going to have to give in and use the Neti Pot…blahhhhh!). We recorded a decent enough track to work with for now.

Wednesday was when it all turned around.

Justin came in and laid down amazing things for both Beach Ballad and Wonder Full. He gently insisted over the past weekend that he thought upright bass would do Beach Ballad a great service. I trust his ears so of course I let him run with it. Thank goodness he spoke up, or else this track may have been a great disappointment to me. Then, because he trusted the feeling to bring his beautiful Brazillian guitar -he played a perfect little part in the Beach Ballad chorus’.

Next he added sunshine to Wonder Full, seriously. Justin has a              propensity for groove and this is exactly what he brought to this      tune. It dances so much now. Then two days later Dave kiboshed his  original drum track (which he spent a perfectionist’s amount of time  crafting) and fed on the vibe Justin left while he nailed a new drum  track. Now, I must mention that it is only because Justin and Dave are  superb musicians that this version of Wonder Full even worked out. You  see, the guitar part that I recorded over a month ago was not done to a  click track (essentially a metronome). So the time ebbs and flows as I  was feeling it. I am floored that not one, but both of these guys were so  in-tune with my feel that it sounds like the three of us recorded live off  the floor. I am so lucky to have the chance to work with this kind of  talent. On Friday I also added a very pretty wurlitzer part to Wonder  Full and Dave added some sparkling tambourines as well.  After this we  sat down and listened to Wonder Full and Beach Ballad and the relief  that I felt was so great I felt a pressure lift off my heart. I was so close to leaving these two songs off of the record and now I am listening to them 2 or three times in a row because they are so vivid, thanks to Justin and Dave’s faith, instinct and nerve.

After we were through recording on Friday, Dave and I sat down and took a listen to Nowhere Near My Heart to see where it was at this week. Without getting into specifics, after recalling how we got to this pinnacle version, we both laughed so hard we cried and I am not exaggerating in the least – there were tears and side stitches. It is the strangest bird on the record by far and I love the final version and it’s making-of-story so much I could die a happy women.

I don’t think it gets much better than this.

Cricket

Weeks Seventeen and Eighteen

The first half of the week saw us making great progress with Northern Belle and Queen. In fact Northern Belle is done! And she is so pretty to. Queen is also becoming a gem. Although I have always been fond of this tune, I had no idea how beautiful it could be. Dave asked me to imagine that I am on a dark stage…the band is behind me (in matching white suits) with a very weak spotlight on them…I am wearing long black sequened gloves singing to my man into one of those big old microphones on a stand. This changed my approach to singing this song completely. So before I left on Wednesday I sang a scratch vocal lying down on the red couch (lying down and singing is really hard, but if you can control your air well enough you get this really soft, whispered texture to your voice).

After that session I was a complete write off. I do not think it was the swine flu, but what I was battling was definitely not your common cold – maybe it was the mini-swine cold. In bed for about five days. For eight days I did not leave the house, except of course for flu meds, kleenex and throat lozenges. After the mini-swine cold left my face, he ran right straight into my chest. Nina Simone look out. Needless to say, I was afraid to pass anything on to Dave so I steered clear of the studio for almost two weeks. Dave worked incredibly hard almost everyday while I was sleeping and feasting on soup and water. After a session there is so much tedium involved in going through all the takes and deciding which ones to consider for the first mix. Hours and hours of work actually. So although I was not at the studio, lots was getting done in my absence. Dave King is rock and roll.

While I was still taking it easy at home two guest musicians came in this week. First, the great Steve Strongman lent his hands and his guitar to Crack My Eyes. Dave said it was a ton of fun. They tried a bunch of different approaches, all turning out really cool. I do not know if you remember me mentioning that Dave likes to take people out of their element. I think he believes that when you make a great musician uncomfortable at what they do best, you get incredible results. When he tried this on me a month into this project I freaked out. I honestly thought he was crazy. But when I gave into the discomfort I realized that my hands could work without my mind being involved so much. Because I had no idea what I was doing what I played was so free and unlike anything I thought I could come up with – yet it WAS me coming up with this nutty music. Since then I have trusted Dave and his craziness and this has been nothing short of inspiring. In fact, when I am ready to take a break from writing, I want to be in a band where I am just playing guitar – no singing whatsoever. Anyhow, Dave put his method to work on Steve and the results were worth his discomfort, I hope he though so too. Next to come in was another friend of Dave’s, whom I know as Ralph Malph. Dave had another zanny idea for Nowhere Near My Heart. Since I have decided that his madness is worth entertaining, I let him run with it. So claiming there was only one person for the job, Dave worked hard to get Mr. Ralph Malph into lay down some humongous guitar sounds. If the takes make the record you will know who inspired Dave’s idea. When I heard the tracks back with Ralph Malph’s guitars, I absolutely loved it.

Week Nineteen

When I walked into the Barn on Monday evening, I was pumped to get back to work. If I can manage to make this career sustain, I am the luckiest person on the planet by the way. Dave and I had a lot to catch up on so we had tea and chatted for a while. After our teatalk Dave showed me all the edits he had done while I was down for the count. So much colour to work with! The next day the amazing Paul Intson came down to play bass on Flow n Flow, Queen and Nowhere Near My Heart. He was perfect, and I really mean that. Every note he played was so thoughtful and tempered. I really am fortunate to have him on my record. For the rest of the week Dave and I tackled Beach Ballad (who is not liking the approaches we are taking with her), added organ and more tapping to Nowhere Near My Heart, as well as spending awhile with the Malph guitars on Nowhere Near My Heart. I will finally be able to start singing next week. Not being able to sing for awhile makes me realize how much I love the human voice and all its musical possibilities.